IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

CRIME RATE AMONG TEENAGERS HAS INCREASED DRAMMATICALLY

Crime
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 among the youth became a social problem over the
last
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 decade.
This
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 rate is increasing incredi
bly day by
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incredible
 day.
This
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 essay will touch the problems about the
crime
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 and some solutions of it.
T
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on
here are a lot of
crime
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 reasons as poverty, peer pressure, unfair judicial system, family conditions, drug addiction, politics, religion, racism, deprivation, society, unemployment, etc. But generally we can separate it into two common: material and spiritual. Spiritual reasons should be called
such
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 as psychological, biological, material reasons are connected with financial problems. I would like to mention details
.
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the details
First
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 of all, ignorance, poor educational backgrounds stands behind one of the main reasons of
crime
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. It is not the mere reason of homicide. As a psychological cause, I can mention anger, greed, low self-esteem, neglect of families to thei
r
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with
children, etc. Even the mos
t crucial and wi
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more crucial
despread reason is drug and alcohol abuse. And of course
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this reason
Accept comma addition
course, this
 stands to psychological causes, too. Material reasons exist, too. As far as I know financial problems trigger off the
crime
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. The most common is unemployment. People can’t gain, they are not able to get succeed what they want and it brings greed and envy the people around them and the
last
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,
crime
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 is committed. There are some ways of solution to avoid the youth from the
crime
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.
First
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 of all, the parents should be attentive about their children to avoid the
crime
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. It should be begun to prepare them from childhood. The families must not deprive of their children from love and attention. They must get good educational skills, especially social sciences. The government should do a lot of things about avoiding from
crime
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 as to reduce the unemployment or to get the severest laws against the drug trade and the severest punishment for that. In conclusion, it is crucial to stay away from
crime
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. The world is completely blind in separating needs from desires. Even if you have less money for survival, you must be happy with it
instead
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 of willing to contour yourself in the pool of
crime
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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