In many places, people's lifestyle is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of those developments outweigh the disadvantages?

#places #people #lifestyle #relationships #developments

It is obvious that people’s habit is

transform

Suggestion

transforming

at an exponential rate. While I accept that way of acting can sometimes have a positive effect on consanguinity, I believe that it is more possible to have a detrimental impact. On the one hand, it can be acknowledged that merits of style of living are evident. The main benefit is living condition is better than before. Since

world

Suggestion

the world

is developed in the direction of industrialization and modernization, the income, medical, education,

…

Accept space

…

that is

considered the living condition is considered is more stable. For

this

reason, everybody

tend

Suggestion

tends

to enjoy

life

, they gather together to organize

outdoors

Suggestion

outdoor

activities, events that make them closer together. An additional advantage would be that the connection between people is meliorate.

Internet

Suggestion

The internet

strongly spread, people easily meet. In the past, the ways of interaction were very limited, if you want to speak with your friend, you would have to go directly to his house or send him a message which may take

few days

Suggestion

a few days

to get a response. Nowadays, it's very easy to interact with your relatives -and even with the government and organization - either by emails, mobiles, chatting, etc.

and

Suggestion

And

I think that

this

has improved the relationships and enhanced it.

However

, I would argue that the drawbacks of the way of

life

changes far eclipse the aforementioned benefits. The most important advantage is that people become

emotionless

not in physical motion

motionless

and apathetic. Technology

have grown

Suggestion

has grown

rapidly,

therefore

, people do not care another people

instead

of concentrating on their smart phone. To illustrate, Family

life

use to be defined by the dining room table, a place where children did their homework and crafts and families ate together and discussed their day. Now, the dining room table has been replaced by the TV and cell phones. Another negative aspect of

devices gadgets

Accept comma addition

devices, gadgets

is making them underestimate family tradition. To make it

more clearly

Suggestion

clearer

more clear

, as society grows the generation gap gets farther apart. Children always think that the thoughts and actions of adults are old-fashioned and unreasonable.

Hence

, gradually the conception and tradition of the family disappeared.

Last

but not least, the way of living each day makes divorce increasing. The more

life

develops, the greater the gap between rich and poor in society.

Consequently

, when financially pressured, the husband and wife in a family conflict with each other leading to marriage breakdown. In conclusion, I would say that the potential change of style of living

are

Suggestion

more significant than the possible benefits.

Submitted by phuongntm31 on Thu Mar 05 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

414 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many places, people's lifestyle is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of those developments outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefits are in the world business.

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as parks and squares, Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The digram shows differences in temperature zones between tropical mountains and temperate mountains

Some people think that the strict punishments of driving offences are the key to reduce traffic accidents.Others however believe that other measures are more effective in improving road safety