Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier stage. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Some individuals think that the common
retirement
age
is unfair for all, as there are certain jobs in which it requires to take
retirement
at an earlier
age
and enjoy the benefits of pension. I strongly believe
this
view. All the reasoning is thoroughly explained in following paragraphs.
Firstly
, every job has distinct requirements in terms of knowledge and physical strength, so different
age
groups are suitable for that. There are certain jobs in which after reaching a certain
age
, we can't fulfil the required parameters to do the job in full potential.
For example
, In the army a soldier is allowed to fulfil his or her duties until he or she reaches the
age
of forty five years.
Secondly
, there are jobs in which experience is the key, which comes with working longer. In the profession like a scientist, engineer, and teachers a great precision is needed, which can only be attained by experience. In Continuation, as different occupation has different required skill, to attain those perks sometime it take
age
factor in consideration and sometime experience. So, It is not right to set one
age
parameters in
retirement
. The profession should be the key factor to decide when an individual should be retired.
For instance
, army peoples can't do heavy lifting in old
age so
Accept comma addition
age, so
they should get
retirement
in early
age
, where in other hands, teachers, Engineers, doctors and scientist perform better in their elderly
age
due to their iterative practice, so they should get extra time before
retirement
so they can contribute more to nation building. To conclude, It is now clear from the above arguments that the profession should play a vital role in deciding the factor of
retirement
as there are lots of variables which are left out if we decide
this
only on the basis of
age
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: