Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody. Regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit

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It is clear that some careers require people to work much harder physically than others.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that some workers should have the ability to retire earlier than others and

recieve

get something; come into possession of

receive

a pension at an earlier age. There are some jobs that require a

person

Use synonyms

to sacrifice their health and body in order to do the job at a high level. Jobs

such

Linking Words

as being a police officer, being a firefighter, or being part of the military take a large toll on a

person

Use synonyms

both physically and mentally.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these jobs require that the

person

Use synonyms

put their own lives on the line and the possibility of death is a very real outcome.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the work that they do generally is for the greater good of society and helps a lot of people. Where would society, and even countries, be without these professionals? While many might argue that

this

Linking Words

demonishes

decrease in size, extent, or range

diminishes

other public service jobs

such

Linking Words

as judges or politicians, these careers, while difficult, do not require the individual to push their bodies to extreme measures as the other occupations listed before. I believe that they should be highly regarded, but in terms of retiring early, it would appear that their bodies would be able to continue working even after the age of 65.

Thus

Linking Words

, the real questions that should be begged is how much of one's own

lifeforce

Suggestion

life force

is actually being utilized and given up for the greater good? If the answer to

this

Linking Words

is that one might be offering their own life to help society, and that the physical requirements are high in order to do so,

then

Linking Words

they should be given the ability to retire early. It may seem unfair to some that certain careers and jobs get to retire early and receive an early pension.

However

Linking Words

, it would be unfair to those who offer their lives

for

Suggestion

the service of everyone to be categorized in the same realm as an office

person

Use synonyms

working a simple nine to five

job

Suggestion

jobs

. Those who choose to push themselves in these types of jobs deserve to be placed higher at the end of the day.

Submitted by wendyanh04 on Fri Mar 06 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to accommodation officer at the college to describe your situation, your problems when you are sharing room with another student, say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?