In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Now a day, Children are especially trained for the studies and try to get best results due to
this
young people are sticking to their academics and facing obesity problems lack of proper exercise. Some others argue that the government should abide and take responsibility.We will be discussing the both sides and which will be elucidated in
this
essay. To commence with, Offsprings are more obsessed with studies and video games.
Moreover
, children are not aware of physical exercise.
For instance
, After completing the school they are likely involved in the video games and spending some time on T.V due to
this
child facing lack of interaction with family
However parents
Accept comma addition
However, parents
should not encourage the students to follow these activities and guide them about outdoor games like cricket, running which is more helpful for controlling weight.
This
type of activities keep children stay active.
On the other hand
, the Government should prepare the schedules for the sports and not allowing children to study full time.They should pass notification to all the schools to follow up.To exemplify, the Government should conduct some competition in sports which inspires children to participate.
This
should include prize money
also
.By following
this children
Suggestion
these children
this child
easily can eradicate obesity problems and stick to proper health and try to minimize junk food.Parents should provide specific food which controls the obesity. To sum up, Young people are showing very enthusiasm for the indoor games rather than outdoor games. Parents should monitor the children's diet and try to avoid junk food. Children should be aware of fatness problems
In addition
to
this
, People should always show more interest in exercising equipment and government should follow whether schools are conducting the sports or not. The government should impose more tax on junk cuisine
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
children try to avoid eating those.
Submitted by naveennani12367 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: