IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the street.Still there are robberies are happen that inside houses.What do you think Is the best things a person can do to ensure his or her security?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #fear #street #robberies #houses #person #security #support
Few people are scared to move out as fright of being
stealed
take without the owner's consent
stolen
stalled
 on
road
Suggestion
the road
.Nowadays,
house breaks
Accept comma addition
house, breaks
 are
also
 occurring.In my opinion, learning of some skills for self defence is the best to ensure our safety. Currently robberies are happening everywhere.The robbers are selecting their targets based on some criteria.They are mainly
focusing
Suggestion
focused
 on the houses in which is including a single person or vulnerable group.These people cannot stop them from harming others.So the best way to be safe is getting trained in martial arts.
For example
, karate.By learning
this
 anyone who is being attacked can stop the attacker, and escape from him.These art forms make the people stronger and fearless to go out.
Moreover
, it develops the confidence, discipline, and focus
too even
Accept comma addition
too, even
 though it takes time to learn.It can help with the body and mind connection.
In addition
, the martial arts help in prevention
.
Accept space
.
We can use these skills against harassment, abuse, and assault as well.At the same time, it encourages personal insight
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 experiences with violence. We might fail
eventhough
Suggestion
even though
, we had other measures
to
Suggestion
of
 protection.Availability of measures could be the problem.The other ways might harm ourselves too.Man made softwares will have their own drawbacks. To conclude, everyone should be trained in martial arts for self protection
eventhough
, they have alternatives for safety because, it is the best way to become more secure.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: