IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years. what do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights. Do you think flights should be taxed more? Give reasons for your answers and include and relevant examples from your own experience.

Early Man used horses, camels and donkeys for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation,
however
Linking Words
, the invention of the wheel gave birth to many modes of transportation but
flights
Use synonyms
 are considered to be
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 beneficial. Owing to
this
Linking Words
, all over the world,
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
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 amount of
flights
Use synonyms
 is increasing because of personal, business and commercial intentions.
Aircrafts
Correct your spelling
Aircraft
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 do have pros and cons
due to
Linking Words
 several reasons.
According to
Linking Words
 me,
flights
Use synonyms
 should be taxed more. To commence with, the advantages,
flights
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 provide comfort to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 passengers and freights. It can be said that airlines are the fastest mode of transportation.
For example
Linking Words
, in case of emergency, if one has to visit a place which is
thousands
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thousands of
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 miles away
then
Linking Words
 only flight will be useful.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 taxes, flight tickets are expensive, which makes it impossible for a
middle class
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middle-class
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 person to travel through the airlines.
Moreover
Linking Words
, weather conditions have a negative impact that causes
delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
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 in departure.
As a result
Linking Words
,
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
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 time got wasted.
Flights
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 produce greenhouse gases, mainly carbon dioxide from fuel.
Such
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 gases contribute to global warming. To reduce
this
Linking Words
, the government should tax the flight tickets more, so that the amount collected through taxes can be used to invent electric
flights
Use synonyms
. Taxation on domestic
flights
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 will force people to use other modes,
such
Linking Words
 as buses and trains which will result in the lesson
the
Change preposition
of the
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 carbon dioxide level caused by
flights
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it can be said that officials should encourage people to use
flights
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 only when other modes of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 are not available. Taxation can help the government to do
do
Correct your spelling
so
show examples
. Aviation contributes 2% of the world's carbon dioxide, so taxation can mitigate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution to a great extent.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could benefit from a more structured thesis statement that clearly outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs have clear topic sentences that relate back to your main argument. This will help in creating a more logical flow throughout your essay.
task achievement
Your examples could be more specific and detailed. For instance, elaborating on personal experiences with flights could enhance the relevance and depth of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Double-check your grammar and sentence structure to avoid minor inaccuracies, such as 'do do,' which could distract from your message.
task achievement
You've successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages of flights, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion restates the importance of the discussion and ties back to the main points, which gives your essay a rounded finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • connectivity
  • economic benefits
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • noise pollution
  • commercial purposes
  • tourism
  • cultural exchange
  • local economies
  • resources
  • global interaction
What to do next:
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