The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph depicts
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
of what kinds of people visit four different locations.
Overall
, it can be seen that
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
is the most popular destination among three different types of people.
However
,
troupe
Add an article
the troupe
show examples
is the least preferred place to visit over the same data. Looking at the graph in more detail,
it is clear that
migrants from English-speaking countries spend most of their spare time in the library and in
movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
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theatre
, 55% and 50%, respectively, followed by
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
show examples
at 35%.
However
,
theatre
consumes less of their free time, which is only 10%. Turning to the data of new migrants who were born in English-speaking countries spend most of their leisure time in the movie house, in the library and in
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
show examples
range of 65% to 40%,
while
theatre
is the least favourite activity at 25%.
It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the proportion of native Canadians who
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
to the zoo is 42%, which is slightly more than double
who
Correct word choice
that who
show examples
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
to the
theatre
. Notably, the rate of drive-ins and
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
are %70 and %38, respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, it is clear that".
Vocabulary: Replace the words theatre with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 2 times.
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