IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #money #science #education #subjects #country
People have different views on the subjects that the
government
 should invest in and prioritize in order to achieve what is termed economic
development
. Some believe that a larger portion of
government
 funds should be dedicated to teaching
science
-related. In my opinion,
although
science
 plays a large role, other subjects hold merit in their own right in contributing to, and in driving, economic
progress
 and
therefore
, deserve equal
government
investment
 and funding. On the one hand, public funding in
science
 education subjects is important in driving the
development
 of a country in many areas,
such
 as engineering and medicine.
For example
, developed countries
such
 as Japan has emphasised the
science
 education of their citizens.
This
 strong focus has led to
science
 learning, knowledge, and scientific research achievement, foster innovation and increases productivity, which directly contributes to the national economic growth of the nation.
Therefore
,
investment
 in the teaching of
science
 education is crucial for a country’s economic
progress
.
On the other hand
, the management of a nation
also
 determines its state of
development
 and economic
progress
. As
such
, it can be argued that curriculum subjects
such
 as social sciences and law require as much attention and
investment
.
For example
, developing economies
such
 as Indonesia and Cambodia have long experienced a history of political and social unrests and conflicts.
This
 can largely be attributed to instability and poor management of legal, social and governmental systems.
This
 is
in contrast
 to their Asian counterparts
such
 as Singapore and Korea, where well-established and stable civil law and political institutions can be observed. In conclusion, subjects related to the management of a nation’s economy,
such
 as social sciences have as much impact and significance of the
development
 and
progress
 of one’s nation and deserve as much
government
investment
 as
science
 subjects.
Submitted by caroline.long.ca on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: