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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#sales #restaurant #downtown #business #district #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table summarizes how much a small
restaurant
Use synonyms
 has earned at
lunch
Use synonyms
 and dinner during the various days of the week between the 7th of October and the 13th. The majority of
sales
Use synonyms
 are represented by dinners, especially on Friday,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
lunch
Use synonyms
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 less
profit
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
. In both cases, weekends are less profitable than the rest of the week. Regarding
lunch
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
, the table shows a steady increase of the earn during weekdays, except for Thursday which
present
Change the verb form
presents
show examples
 a decrease, followed by a decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 during the weekend. The day when the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 makes the most
profit
Use synonyms
 is Wednesday, with 2,595
dollars
Use synonyms
 earned, meanwhile the least
profit
Use synonyms
 is made on Sunday, with 1,550
dollars
Use synonyms
. Dinner,
overall
Linking Words
, gives more
sales
Use synonyms
 than
Use synonyms
lunch time
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
, with a difference of more than 1000
dollars
Use synonyms
 earned than the latter. The
sales
Use synonyms
 are steady during the weekdays except for Friday, which is the most profitable day with 4,350
dollars
Use synonyms
 earned. After that, during the weekend, the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 experienced a
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
, reaching its least
profit
Use synonyms
 on Sunday, when the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 made just 2,450
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by chinatsugamer on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words restaurant, lunch, sales, profit, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuations
  • peak sales
  • troughs
  • seasonal adjustments
  • promotional impact
  • customer footfall
  • external factors
  • forecasting
  • performance analysis
  • trend analysis
  • sales metrics
  • business district
  • revenue streams
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
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