IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

#people #businesses #addition #profits #life #community
There is a widespread view that not only should large corporations generate
profits but
Accept comma addition
profits, but
also
 they are accountable for the Social coexistence. I completely agree with
this
 statement due to some reasons which will be discussed in the following essay.
In
Suggestion
At
 the beginning, big firms are able to increase their interest
by
Suggestion
in
 attracting more customers. If big businesses focus on both growing the benefits of themselves and their customers, after a couple of months, they can achieve their goals. The best example is prominent companies in producing cosmetics
such
 as Mac for women.
This
 company support
from
Suggestion
of
women
Suggestion
women's
 rights in different social areas via producing high-quality goods like hand crèmes and sell them with
lower price
Suggestion
a lower price
lower prices
 to underprivileged women in Canada who have to work hard and unable to pay a huge sum of money for goods.
As a result
, Mac Company can double the clients and become famous throughout
this
 country.
Additionally
, big enterprises play an integral role in social life. It seems that growing the percentage of popularity whether in internal or international levels, helps to companies to hire more talented workforces who are interested to work
in
Suggestion
with
such
 a firm, and gradually they become more and more loyal to the firm's value and help their society to become a safe place for current and
next
 generation. In recent years, Levi Strauss Company has committed to reducing the amount water used in
production
Suggestion
the production
 of their jeans.
Thus
,
this
 company has been one of
most popular brands
Suggestion
the most popular brands
 in producing jeans pants all over the world and helped to prevent water scarcity as the vital resources for human beings, animals and plants. In conclusion, I believe that firms should consider actively increasing the life of society, since not only it would be beneficial for them in the in
long-term
Suggestion
the long-term
, but
also
 it is part of their indirect responsibility to society.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!