a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism industry.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
Toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
as a modern method for earning
money
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been employed by governments in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries.
Although
there are a number of drawbacks
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
trend, the benefits accruing to places that attract tourists are by no means negligible. On the plus side, the advantages of travelling
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
to attractive places are manifold.
To begin
with, By travelling,
tourism
Correct word choice
and tourism
show examples
to specific
spots
, most of the individuals in the world know more about them.
To
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Simply put, by increasing the number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
visiting
cities
, they are more likely to spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily routine activities
such
as accommodation, eating and entertaining, which would
be result
Change the verb form
result
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
chance for local
people
. Take the tourist necessities as an example; by
enchaining
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists, job opportunities for local
people
would be increased.
Thus
, the more income at the
tourism
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
spots
, the more facilities to improve quality of the life for local
people
.
However
, the downside cannot be ignored.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
are concerned with crowded
cities
.
that is
to say
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
at
Add the comma(s)
, at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the breathtaking places
for visiting
Change preposition
to visit
show examples
, living
people
have to participate
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
facilities of
cities
with
new comers
Correct your spelling
newcomers
show examples
for several days. Considering that visitors are coming to spend their pastime
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they need more fun
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can bother
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
people
. A good illustration
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
is soaring traffic, which can incredibly annoy
people
who are neighbourhood with visitors.
Hence
, government authorities would not have any profit from
income
Add an article
the income
show examples
of attraction
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism, but they should invest
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
huge amount of
money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
increasing
Correct article usage
the equipments
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
of
cities
.
To conclude
, earning
money
from
attraction
Add an article
the attraction
show examples
of visitors to tourist
spots
can be rewarding and problematic.
While
they might help to enhance job opportunities,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can interrupt the routine life of local
people
in these
spots
.
Submitted by f_shahbazi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.
task response
Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed thoroughly, with relevant examples and comprehensive ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: