IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
A satisfying career among the
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has been measured with various parameters, Taken into consideration. A long stay in an organization,
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us more Experience and
on the other hand
, frequent change in jobs gives excitement and
Provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
Provides
show examples
 scope for new ideas.
This
 discussion
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 ongoing,
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time and A group of
people
 supports
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 duration in a company,
while
 others support
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
short
Capitalize word
Short
show examples
Term. Multiple examples
such
 as
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
,
bookstore
Fix the agreement mistake
bookstores
show examples
 and
garage
Fix the agreement mistake
garages
show examples
 have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 Activities. A brief introduction
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
job
 fulfillment in the following note, after globalization around the world, thousands of new companies arrived with new
ideology
Fix the agreement mistake
ideologies
show examples
 and most of them are successful. These organizations require manpower, who are innovative and
technology oriented
Add a hyphen
technology-oriented
show examples
.
On the other hand
, manufacturing
industries
 (
for example
, automobile, petroleum and metal fabrication) are developed with new technologies, at the same point, they could not compete with the technology companies,
such
 as software, gaming and
application based
Add a hyphen
application-based
show examples
. A revolutionary move
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile and internet speed
also
 brought us a new scope of
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
.
Young
Correct article usage
The young
show examples
 generation easily adapts to the new culture,
such
 as
app based
Add a hyphen
app-based
show examples
 taxi booking, food and groceries delivered at home. At the same point,
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
people
 struggled to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
adapted
Wrong verb form
adapt
show examples
 and to mention, here work satisfaction varies
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
. Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and, internet
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is one of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 few examples
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 elderly
people
 to get adapt. A couple of decades ago, manufacturing
industries
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 the major
job
 provider.
People
joined
Wrong verb form
who join
show examples
 those
industries
 have a typical repeated set of activities,
initially
Add a comma
initially,
show examples
 it was exciting and over a period, it might feel saturated. Major
middle aged
Correct word choice
middle-middle-aged
show examples
 population feel satisfied with their usual / regular activity, which they
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 doing,
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 duration.
Job
 security
also
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be taken into serious consideration, new
industries
 are innovative
as well as
expose
Wrong verb form
exposed
show examples
 to plummet. A young generation could not
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 satisfied, since they are exposed to various technologies from their childhood, which is under the palm. A stagnant
job
 can give you satisfaction and security, but it will let you be innovative and brainstorm. To come to a conclusion, I can agree to a certain extent to stay in a
job
 for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 period, to get experience and technical knowledge, which can help you during failures and troubleshooting activities. An Innovation
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
raises ideas in your own field and if it is found worthy and
organization
Correct article usage
the organization
show examples
 accepts,
finally
 getting
reward
Correct article usage
a reward
show examples
 can tell you the meaning of delight, which could only be felt.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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