IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should therefore be stopped. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #positions #community
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In the modern era, where everyone wants to lead a luxurious life, avail the opportunities to migrate into other countries and ready to work in those positions which domestic workers unwilling to do.From my perspective, I partially agree with
this
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 statement that it causes problems in local society.
To begin
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 with, nowadays, due to the increasing rate of unemployment, folks migrate to other countries in search of a job for a better life and are open to do any kind of work they get for their survival in that area, but domestic people who belongs to that region are not ready to do the low level kind of works like cleaning, loading and so on and
thus
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, creates a problem for the local folks to accept them as a member of their society and feeling of racial discrimination arises, which is not good for the prosperity of that particular nation.
For instance
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, according to the recent survey it has been observed that the cases of racial discrimination are at the highest peak in the USA and other developed countries.
On the other hand
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, it is logical that every person wants its business to be well established and for that they need workers, but if domestic workers of that area are ready for the work,
then
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 they should not bring the workers from other countries as it creates unemployment among local people and promotes racism against them which is not good for nation social fabric.To illustrate, in the recent survey in California, it has been discovered that there has been an increase in the number of racism cases against folks from other nations To conclude,
although
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, it cannot be denied that foreign companies employ people from other countries to increase their profit, but at the same time they have to create employment for local folks as well.
Submitted by sharmanikhil05 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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