the bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying computer science at a UK university between 2010 to 2012
The bar chart provides information about the
number
of men and women who chose to study computer science at a UK university between the year
2010 to 2012.Fix the agreement mistake
years
Overall
, it is obvious that the university has a greater number
of students
from the UK than students
from other countries.
In the year
2010, there were about 60 male students
studying in
the campus compared to about only 45 female Change preposition
on
students
. Out of which 39 were male British home
students
and 31 were female home
students
.
The number
of male students
fell dramatically in the following year
2011 to approximately 50 however
, an increasing trend of female admissions was seen in the same year
. Exaclty
,62 female Correct your spelling
Exactly
students
studied computer science in 2011 including 44 local students
and 18 foreign students
.
Finally
, in the year
2012
almost equal Add a comma
,2012
number
of home
and international
male student got enrolled which was 43 and 39 respectively. Add an article
the international
an international
However
, there was a significant difference in ratio
of local to Add an article
the ratio
foreign
female Add an article
a foreign
the foreign
student
. By 2012 there were 45 international female Fix the agreement mistake
students
students
but only 20 home
students
in the UK university.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, year, students, home with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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