IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure a growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its efforts on uplifting the less fortunate? Discuss both views

#people #priority #government #economy #focus #efforts
Some have
opinion
Suggestion
opined
 that
government
 must give importance
on
Suggestion
to
 economic
growth whereas
Accept comma addition
growth, whereas
 other people think that it should give attention towards the social condition, equality, and
environment
Suggestion
environmental
.
This
 essay will
first
 discuss how economic
development
 will improve the progress of
nation
Suggestion
the nation
a nation
 and
secondly why
Accept comma addition
secondly, why
 the
government
 should show interest on
poor condition
Suggestion
the poor condition
 of social and
environment
. On one hand, financial sector
development
 plays a vital role in
growth
Suggestion
the growth
 of
country
Suggestion
the country
a country
. An increase in
economy
Suggestion
the economy
, it leads the administration to reduce poverty in the nation by developing job opportunities and
also
 funding for school, hospital and on infrastructure.
For example
, people being educated results in
well-paid job
Suggestion
a well-paid job
 which improves their lifestyle.
On the other hand
, the authorities
also
 need to put effort on developing low situation of society and surroundings rather than focusing only on
economy
Suggestion
economic
growth
. The
government
 should consider the area of social justice, equality, and
also
 on the
environment
.
Further
, in the
country
, people should have equal rights, if not it leads to more injustice in the society.
Therefore
, the
government
 should introduce stricter laws to overcome these poor conditions.
For example
, the treatment of minority groups is often seen as a reflection in the
development
 of
state
Suggestion
the state
.
Additionally
, on protecting the nature, pollution is reduced and future generation will get a green
environment
. To sum up, the administration has to assure on the economic
growth
 for the
development
 of the
country
 but
also
 should give equal importance to the social condition, human rights and on
environment
 to maintain peace in the
country
Submitted by kamalakumaran.s on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job opportunities
  • standards of living
  • infrastructure
  • public services
  • advocates
  • positive cycle
  • social equity
  • justice
  • government policies
  • reduce poverty
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • equitable distribution
  • balanced approach
  • implementing policies
  • equitably shared
What to do next:
Look at other essays: