IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #changes #birth #death #rates #zealand #summarise #features #comparisons
The provided line graph indicates the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
delivery and passing
rates
 in
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
 Zealand population since 1901, and prognosticates trends up until 2101.
Overall
, it was obvious from the graph that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mortality has risen steadily in the period shown
while
 the mutuality was on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuation in the beginning 50 years and hit the highest position in 1961, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 the death
rates
 will probably surpass the parturition
rates
 by the end of the previously mentioned century. To be more specific, as can be
seen
Add the comma(s)
,seen
show examples
 that in 1901, the childbearing rate started at 20.000 and it is followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuation for about 10 years before there was a sudden sharp slump in 1921. Thenceforth, the birth rate fluctuated significantly until it reached a peak of 66.000 in 1961 and stabilized between 65.000 and 50.000. The birth rate is projected to decline slowly to around 45.000 births by the end of 2101. Compared to the fatality
rates
, it stood at below 10.000 deaths in 1901 and continuously improved gradually until
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 day. There will be a rapid recovery in the death
rates
 between 2021 and 2061. Predictably, the death
rates
 are likely to peak at 60.000 by 2090, before falling back to around 56,000
at the end
 of the period.
Submitted by lamtruongmama1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words rates with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!