IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #governments #move #towns
Though life now is easier, more comfortable and satisfying in big cities, dwellers still get struggle with troubles during their basic life which are explained below. To my way of thinking, I do not believe discouraging them to keep staying in cities is an effective measure to solve
this
.
First
 and foremost, it is obvious that one of the serious urban problems is
pollution
. The surroundings of
megacities
 are always covered with air
pollution
 from traffic, noise
pollution
 from constructions, thermal
pollution
 from the careless use of water of people and numerous kinds of
pollution
 like that. It not only negatively affects people’s health but
also
 restricts them to happily
enjoying
Suggestion
enjoy
 life.
Secondly
, adults, especially students and undergraduates, have to work and study under pressure more because they are expected to finish tasks and gain success too much, which contributes to the higher rate of youngsters who commit suicide and suffer from depression. Another noticeable cause of
this
 is poisonous food. These days, fertilizer, chemical ingredients and preservatives have been usually put
into
Suggestion
in
 vegetables and fruits by sellers to make customers deceived and think that they are actually fresh.
As a result
, they face health diseases which mostly come from food while the bad salespeople get many profits.
Otherwise
, I claim that governments should impose strict laws and organize social campaigns to reduce the problems, rather than make the citizens live in remote areas. It seems to me that people will probably get involved in crime more since job opportunities are not plentiful in villages.
Hence
, they have to be risky to earn money for a living by stealing and robbing valuables.
Furthermore
, pupils will not have the chance to study and develop their intelligence and abilities. To illustrate, education in unpopular areas
are
Suggestion
is
 underdeveloped with old-fashioned study methods
such
 as rote learning and heart learning.
Therefore
, students cannot experience new heights of knowledge like those in large cities where they can join clubs and go on field trips which make everything understandable. Overall,
pollution
, stress and food poisoning are the causes of
this
 trouble and I insist on the ineffectiveness of the suggestion in reducing
this
, which is to stop dwellers from living in cities.
Submitted by dohuong01072005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: