IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #arts #paintings #music #waste #money #government #services
Some individuals claim that, government should invest money on other social services,
instead
 of wasting money on arts,
such
 as paintings and music.I completely disagree with
t
his statements,
Suggestion
this statement
these statements
 because I think that arts significant part of life as well.
First
 of all, I believe that the arts can be a main source of improving human's views. In my opinion, songs and paintings help people to learn the cultures of other countries. Almost all countries in the world have their own traditional song.
For instance
, Azerbaijan is famous for its national music m
uqam,
 which helps people get to know the culture of
this
 country. That's why it's important to invest capital in the arts.
Secondly
, the arts can serve the development of tourism sector in countries.
In other words
, generally people visit countries due to their music, exactly in order to attend in concerts. And
also
 the crafts
such
 as canvas museum can be a cause of the visit. One more example, one of the renowned paintings, Mona Liza stored in the museum named Louvre, which located in France, is one of the main reasons, why the number of tourists have been increased in France.
Thus
, these reasons illustrate that contributing currency on arts not a waste of payment. In conclusion, I strongly believe that arts significantly important not only in a person's life,
h
owever it
Accept comma addition
however, it
is necessary important for the country's economy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: