Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect the children? How do you think this problem can be tackled
In our present world today, there are various anxiety among these
activities
, children partake in which includes
educational, physical sporting, virtual sporting Correct subject-verb agreement
include
activities
such
as gaming and many others that has
been observed to contribute some certain degree of changes to their behavioural pattern. In the opinion of some guardians, it is believed that the Change the verb form
have
level
of violence
portrayed in some gaming, media related
devices and entertainment has increased which has Add a hyphen
media-related
risen
their Verb problem
raised
level
of concerns
. There are certain observable behavioural consequences peculiar to kids engaging Fix the agreement mistake
concern
these
violent Change preposition
in these
activities
viewed on televisions
and Fix the agreement mistake
television
other form
of media entertainment. Some of the few are Change the wording
another form
other forms
stronger
desire for Correct article usage
a stronger
violence
and blood related
Add a hyphen
blood-related
activities
, encouraging bullying among children who look a lot bigger and stronger among their peers and much more. Many schools and house
of worship have in various forms waged war against Fix the agreement mistake
houses
violence
through preaching, music and educating many about the significance of staying off and the only thing they can be to keep doing more. In addition
, the government enacting laws against social-vices
is Correct your spelling
social vices
also
not an exception. In many governments, there are juvenile prison
for capital offences or even a lot Fix the agreement mistake
prisons
less
that could help restructure the mental unhealthiness Correct quantifier usage
fewer
for
child offenders are being built regularly. There are lots of sensitizations to dissuade wards and orient some early offenders about the consequences of the actions of these magnitudes by Change preposition
of
NGO
(Non-governmental Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
Organization
). Fix the agreement mistake
Organizations
Parents
are also
one of the principal contributors to what a child makes out of life. Abusive parents
are more likely to have abused children, so, the position of parents
cannot be over emphasized
. It is imperative that Add a hyphen
over-emphasized
parents
are constantly advising their wards and encourage
them through their own attitudes to stay off these red zones. I believe the Wrong verb form
encouraging
level
of information on violence
should be controlled and censored to some degree. Music, videos and games publicizing violence
should have some level
of censorship where these things are checked before being pushed into the market for potential customers. I believe such
regulations have not been implemented yet or not functioning effectively, which I believe the government and the necessary agencies should look into in order to reduce the level
Change preposition
of
parents
since technology is here to stay. In conclusion, modernization comes with a price and this
is one we have to pay. But I will further
advise that legislative laws against violent contents
can really go a long way to improve the sanity of our progeny as long as we keep fighting to maintain Fix the agreement mistake
content
a
proper mental health within Remove the article
apply
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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