IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that is it a good thing for senior management to have very high salary compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company.To what extent do you agree?

#people #management #salary #workers #positions #company
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In today's most competitive world some consider it is fair for top management employees to have
good sum
Suggestion
a good sum
 of income while compared to a junior staff in the same organization. I fully support that paying CEO more money than subordinates is completely justified.
To begin
, senior employees are far more experienced in their
work
 compared to junior level staff.
for
Suggestion
For
 instance
,
Accept space
,
hospital medical director
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the hospital medical director
a hospital medical director
 would have far more experience in dealing with problems associated with patients and
organisation
Suggestion
the organisation
organisations
 so his decision making skills are more polished.
he
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He
 is responsible for taking major decisions
at
Suggestion
on
 his position which would be beneficial to the company and their employee at large
.
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.
 Which
a
Suggestion
an
 associate level employee would not be able to do so.
Furthermore
, these employees
work
 longer and take their
work
 home
.
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.
for
Suggestion
For
 example
,
Accept space
,
bill gates
,
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,
the CEO of the organization who is on duty 18 hours per day
also
 works from home
.
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.
consequently it
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Consequently, it
Consequently it
 is good that employees are paid on how much they deserve
.
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.
On the other hand
,
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,
when a junior level staff sees his
senior earning
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senior, earning
 a great deal of money
this
 would motivate them to
work
 harder to achieve their goals professionally. They would
also
 consider them as an idol and a source of inspiration.
to
Suggestion
To
 exemplify
,
Accept space
,
many junior personnel who are motivated to reach a decent position are seen reading real life stories of many
enterprenuers
someone who organizes a business venture and assumes the risk for it
entrepreneurs
 who have made those way up the ladder through sheer
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
.
finally
Suggestion
Finally
 a subordinate must always seek inspiration and be more positive at
work
.
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.
 To conclude
,
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,
it is completely justified that CEOs are being paid more money than Assistants as they have more experience in their field of
work
,
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,
more responsibility to shoulder and long working hour's which makes them well deserved to be paid more than juniors who must seek inspiration and be Motivated to reach
such
 heights in their profession
.
Accept space
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Meritocracy
  • Responsibilities
  • Economic Incentive
  • Talent Attraction
  • Disparity
  • Demotivate
  • Undervaluation
  • Productivity
  • Morale
  • Remuneration
  • Equity
  • Resentment
  • Disconnect
  • Profit Sharing
  • Compromise
  • Aligning
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