IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
While, certain individuals give priority to
job
 happiness than occupation security, others opine that full-time
job
 is more crucial.
This
 essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of
job
 contentment as it is not only beneficial for employees, but
also
 for the company, followed by the details conclusion.
Job
 satisfaction will not only help in increasing the productivity of employees, but will
also
 reduce the attrition rate of the company.
This
 is to say, it the employees working in an organisation are satisfied with the environment and work culture they will perform their duties more effectively and efficiently.
Moreover
, satisfied employees will not leave the organisation and
thus
 organisation will not suffer from the problem of decrease in the number of employees. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The New York Times showed that more than 80 percent of employees who are satisfied with their position not only perform their duties efficaciously but
also
 do not resign from the organization.
However
, some people disagree and believe that full time employment plays a pivotal role.
In other words
, individuals are burdened with financial responsibilities
such
 as to meet the needs of their family and children,
thus
 it is important for them to work in a full-time post with high pay-scale irrespective of the surrounding and work ethics. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The Times showed that more than 60 percent of the employed workers for higher salaries in order to meet their financial expenses. To conclude, some people give more importance to a permanent occupation than
job
 contentment,
however
, In my opinion, I vehemently agree that
job
 happiness is the key for employees to tasks with full productivity and the companies not suffering with the problems of continuous resignations.
Submitted by sodhi.parul.18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: