Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

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belive

accept as true; take to be true

believe

believes

it is unfair to have a set

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

(of 65 years), irrespective of the occupation the workers are working. Every job requires a different skill set to perform the tasks and while performing those

tasks it

Accept comma addition

tasks, it

involves a different level of physical and mental effort.

For example

Linking Words

worker

Suggestion

a worker

workers

working in a coal power plant

have

Suggestion

has

to work in a very

strenous

characterized by or performed with much energy or force

strenuous

environment with exposure to coal dust.

Hence

Linking Words

, working there till

Use synonyms

age

Suggestion

the age

of 65 years will definitely take a

toil

ring slowly

toll

on their health in an adverse manner.

However

Linking Words

, in a corporate banking job the physical effort intensity is much less as compared to a worker in coal power plant, and

hence

Linking Words

based on the above comparison the criteria for

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

is different, where a coal plant worker should retire at an early stage much before the banker. If, companies give the

retirement

Use synonyms

to their workers before the set

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

, companies

also

Linking Words

benefit in terms of the productivity levels

Suggestion

workplace

Suggestion

the workplace

. They can recruit

young experienced

Accept comma addition

young, experienced

workers who will bring more creativity at

workplace

Suggestion

the workplace

and at the same time productivity will

also

Linking Words

be higher. In terms of medical expenditures, companies can benefit in monetary terms by paying less premium amount to insurance companies for young workers in comparison to old

age

Use synonyms

workers. All-in-all

this

Linking Words

is a win-win situation for both,

company

Suggestion

companies

the company

and workers where workers can get

pension

Suggestion

a pension

, ensuring a stable source of income and focus on their health, giving more time to their families and

parallely

being everywhere equidistant and not intersecting

parallel

explore other work options at private firms with lesser occupational hazards and companies benefit with higher productivity levels with inclusion of young workers and being more efficient in terms of cost.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

282 words

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