the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010
The bar chart describes the percentage of
males
and
females
in different
age
groups who did
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular
exercise
in Australia during 2010.
Overall
,
females
were more active in regular physical activities than
males
except for one
age
group who were in 15-24
age
.
According to
the chart, 52.8% of
males
did
exercise
regularly in
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-24
age
but it slightly decreased to 42.2% in
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
-34
age
. In the 35-44
age
, only 39.5% of
males
did physical activities regularly.
However
, there was 43.1% of
males
did
exercise
daily
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
-54
age
.
Then
, it increased dramatically to 45.1% and 46.7% in 55-64
age
and in 65 and over 65
age
respectively. For
females
, there was 47.7% did regular physical activities when they were teenagers.
Moreover
, there was a slight increase from 48.9% to 52.5% of
females
who did
exercise
daily between 25-34
age
and 35-44
age
respectively.
Then
, it reached a peak, which was about 53.3%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
45-54
age
.
Next
, it slowly decreased to 53% and 47.1% when they were in 55-64
age
and over 65
age
respectively.
Submitted by lwinlwinthein2017 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, age, exercise with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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