IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
#line #information #questionnaires #tourist #office #city #email #telephone #first #months
The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from
Tourist
Correct article usage
the Tourist
show examples
 Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 6 months
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2011.
Overall
, it was obvious that it had an
in significant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
show examples
 increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 directive
respond
Replace the word
responses
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 from people and letters, but
person
Add an article
the person
show examples
 was the most common way
from
Change preposition
apply
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followed March.
While
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enquires by telephone went down rapidly and get
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest number compared to others. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that individual numbers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 lowest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January, approximately 400,
then
 an upward trend was seen
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that and reached a
pick
Correct your spelling
peak
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 June, around 1900.
In contrast
, telephone requirements
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 highest in the new year,
then
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 plummeted moderately and picked
at
Change preposition
up at
show examples
 1600
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 June, lower than
by
Change preposition
per
show examples
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
. Thought it had a decrease from January to February.
Finally
, the amount of phone enquiries fall dramatically
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 five months and hit a low of roughly 280
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 May,
then
 it remained nearly constant until June.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "indicated" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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