IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
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The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from
Tourist
Correct article usage
the Tourist
show examples
 Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone
by
Change preposition
in
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 6 months
in
Change preposition
of
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 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was obvious that it had an
in significant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
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 increase
on
Change preposition
in
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 directive
respond
Replace the word
responses
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 from people and letters, but
person
Add an article
the person
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 was the most common way
from
Change preposition
apply
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followed March.
While
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enquires by telephone went down rapidly and get
a
Change the article
the
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 lowest number compared to others. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that individual numbers
was
Change the verb form
were
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 lowest
on
Change preposition
in
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 January, approximately 400,
then
Linking Words
 an upward trend was seen
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that and reached a
pick
Correct your spelling
peak
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on
Change preposition
in
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 June, around 1900.
In contrast
Linking Words
, telephone requirements
was
Change the verb form
were
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 highest in the new year,
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 plummeted moderately and picked
at
Change preposition
up at
show examples
 1600
on
Change preposition
in
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 June, lower than
by
Change preposition
per
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person
Add an article
a person
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. Thought it had a decrease from January to February.
Finally
Linking Words
, the amount of phone enquiries fall dramatically
by
Change preposition
apply
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over
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 five months and hit a low of roughly 280
on
Change preposition
in
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 May,
then
Linking Words
 it remained nearly constant until June.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "indicated" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Questionnaire
  • Tourist Information Office
  • Individual submission
  • Letter/email communication
  • Telephone survey
  • Fluctuation
  • Stable trend
  • Gradual increase
  • Varied patterns
  • Surpassed
  • Significant rise
  • Seasonal peak
  • Tourist behavior
  • Information campaign
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