IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree?

#universities #amount #money #students’ #sports #activities #libraries
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It is one of the fundamental duty of authorities to spend
equal amount
Suggestion
an equal amount
 of money on
sport
Use synonyms
 facilities as they do
on
Suggestion
in
with
 college libraries. Physical activities function as an important facilitator to improve health of the
students which
Accept comma addition
students, which
 yields positive impact on their studies as well. I strongly believe that the college administrators should concentrate on both, the academics and
sport
Use synonyms
 facilities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons for
this
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is no doubt that scholars and toppers are helpful in building reputation of any educational institution.
However
Linking Words
, the role of physical education in the life of
under graduates
a university student who has not yet received a first degree
undergraduates
 cannot be overlooked. In today’s era, due to advancement in
educational system
Suggestion
the educational system
, an intense pressure
is built
Suggestion
builds
 on the student to perform better and score higher grades in examinations. A competitive environment leads to stressful circumstances and
demotivates
Suggestion
 the candidates if they are not able to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 the expectation of his family and teachers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is vital for every university to have
sport
Use synonyms
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 and invest in
sport
Use synonyms
 functions, so that candidates are able to cope up with the hectic situation and work hard in their academics as well.
Secondly
Linking Words
, everybody nowadays is leading a sedentary lifestyle due to busy schedules. Less importance is being attached to
physical health
Suggestion
the physical health
 of candidates. Sports and fitness activities help us to live a healthy life. Universities should help in building overall well-being of student by creating recreational facilities for them.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student who does not indulge in any kind of fitness activity might
makes
Suggestion
make
 his brain dull, thereby making it difficult for him to indulge in studies. In conclusion, I personally believe that equal importance should be attached to health and educational facilities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, universities should equally allocate their budget to the libraries and
sport
Use synonyms
 facilities..
Submitted by ashna.handa206 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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