IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more people, especially youths, spend much of their time on playing computer games.
Game
Suggestion
The game
 can be both needful for people as developing skills and knowledge, or harmful because of the content. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, as there are many harmful impacts. On the one hand, games are considered as entertaining and educational. These games are the playgrounds for them to play around, and it has unlimited resources of information. Players are tested in games, and in some stimulation games, they can basically try to do some new skills that never do in real life.
Besides
Linking Words
, they can have mistakes so that they can avoid being inaccurate in future works. From an educational perspective, these games can stimulate imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and problem solving, which are more useful in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, players got addicted easily. Games these days have objective mission and scoring, make the game more addictive. People are persuaded to accomplish them in a serious way, which affects in a hazardous way. By
then
Linking Words
, they start to spend more time on computers, and many of them usually get obesity and sedentary lifestyle, have an unhealthy diet.
Also
Linking Words
, real-time works, included homework, are being spent less time and video games take more space. The addiction makes people more difficult in their life, and if there is no restriction, more horrible issues can be occurred. In conclusion, playing
computers
Suggestion
computer
 games is not good for human’s mental and physical health, and it needs to be reduced.
Submitted by leepham1809 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: