IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #railways #roads
Logistics are vital in determining the productivity of a nation, as even
a
Suggestion
an
 hour contributes to a significant amount of profit among the whole world.
Hence
, there is a concern with the community saying that the administration of the country should invest
money
 on train sector
instead
 of roads. On the one hand, increasing the frequency of railways could save a huge amount of time and
money
 for the society and
moreover
, the emission of harmful greenhouse gases could be reduced as the use of motor vehicles decreases. To be precise, trains are
more faster
Suggestion
faster
 and can occupy an amount of passengers.
For example
, hundred
indiviguals
a human being
individuals
 travelling on their own vehicles.
In addition
, there are many genres in railway sectors that need significant development like rising the number of compartments and seats and
furthermore
, the drop in motor
vehicles
Suggestion
vehicle
 usage could save a plethora of fuel and
this
 would eventually reduce the fares on passengers, saving more
money
 in return.
In contrast
, trains could not be allowed to pierce through the city as the vibrations produced from their massive structures could pose a threat to glass infrastructures.
Moreover
, these vehicles cannot be used to enter nook and corner of the state, as people have various needs apart from
dailywork
Suggestion
daily work
.
Therefore
,
takin
very attractive; capturing interest
taking
tackling
tracking
 the increasing population and congestion
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 consideration, funds could be spent on expanding the roads and erecting new bypass roads, which would minimize the pollution level and the heavy traffic levels in cities. To conclude, even though the
massive fast
Accept comma addition
massive, fast
 moving trains could save more time and
money
 of the population, local authorities should invest funds on roads as they are more convenient and frequently used by the residents.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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