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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

#countries #town-centre #shops #business #people #drive #stores #cars #access #out-of #town #change
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The bankrupt of numerous small stores in
town
Use synonyms
 are
occuring
come to pass
occurring
 in some nations because of the remarkable growth of
bigger malls
Suggestion
the bigger malls
 outside the
town
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is said that
this
Linking Words
 development will not only create lots of difficulty for people without
car
Suggestion
a car
cars
 to reach the final destinations but
also
Linking Words
 encourage the number of cars being used. But, I still believe that
this
Linking Words
 transformation will bring back more pros than cons. It is
easily
Suggestion
easy
 to figure out that the larger the mall is, the more products are sold. Specifically, the large stores will corporate with lots of entrepreneurs and companies in
differents
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
 areas from overseas to national, from food and drink to toys.
In other words
Linking Words
, these stores can import not only a huge
number but
Accept comma addition
number, but
also
Linking Words
 a variety of products to serve their customers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people will have more choices to buy than in the smaller one.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some large malls outside the
town
Use synonyms
 is a
complexes
Suggestion
complex
. To be
more clearly
Suggestion
more clear
clearer
more clearer
, some will include restaurants or playgrounds to meet the customers’ needs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people come to these malls just like a trip for their families to escape from the daily pressure and have more time together, or even these large out-of-
town
Use synonyms
 stores is a place to stop during a long road
trips
Suggestion
trip
 for some families. In conclusion, not only does it sell tangible
products but
Accept comma addition
products, but
also
Linking Words
 sell intangible one, love and fun between people, correspondingly.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the purpose of building large malls outside the
town
Use synonyms
 is to limit the pollution may happen. To illustrate, a large mall
always go
Suggestion
always goes
 with noise pollution since it witnesses the regular and dense of not only the influx of
people but
Accept comma addition
people, but
also
Linking Words
 the flow of containers come and leave, which will lead to numerous health damages
such
Linking Words
 as hard hearing, cardiovascular disorders and high lever of stress
Consequently
Linking Words
, allocating massive stores far from the city is necessary and compulsory to make sure that citizen will be safe. To sum up, the large out-of-
town
Use synonyms
 store is definitely the best choice for people because of the benefits
its
the thing named or in question
it
 provides.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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