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Writing Samples
Band 2

According to 2000 ‘s report, Japan has became one of the most country which has the highest proportion of population aging and owing to this reason, Japan‘s GDP has dropped 10%-16% compared to the previous years. This has drawn awareness of the increasing in average life expectancy in many country include Japan itself and turn into very difficult hassel.

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According to 2000 ‘s report, Japan
has became
Suggestion
has become
 one of the most country which has the highest proportion of population aging and owing to
this
Linking Words
 reason, Japan‘s GDP has dropped 10%-16% compared to the previous years.
This
Linking Words
 has drawn awareness of the increasing in average life expectancy in many
country
Suggestion
countries
 include Japan itself and turn into
very difficult hassel
Suggestion
a very difficult hassle
very difficult hassle
. We are living in 4.0
century
Suggestion
centuries
 when industry
also
Linking Words
 medical treatment
have greatly improved
Suggestion
has greatly improved
, with these favourable conditions, people can expect to live longer than before.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 causes negative consequences and governments should hit upon the solution in order to deal with. Irreparable damage had been brought about by aging population owing to the fact that a big set of people
are
Suggestion
is
 retirement which are eligible to receive pension. More precisely, young people in the working age are the main resource contribute to country development, but due to the increasing number of
retirement
Suggestion
retired
 people
has led
Suggestion
have led
 to the decreasing of people
in
Suggestion
of
 working age. Obviously, we can anticipate the result that the tax burden for working individual will get bigger. Tracing the roots of
this
Linking Words
aging’s
Suggestion
aging
 population directs us to the inefficient regulation of government.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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