The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The given bar chart indicates a comparison of Australian genders with the exact
percents
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
who do
exercises
frequently,
according to
their various
ages
in 2010. As can be seen from the chart, males did more physical
exercises
than females at the age of 15 to 24. The figure was 52.8 % for
men
and 47.7% for
women
. Contrarily,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
next
years of life females dominated doing
exercises
, the percentage of
women
who were from 25 to 34 years old was 48.9% percentage of
men
at those
ages
was 42.2%. Especially, there was
sharp
Add an article
a sharp
show examples
difference between them in their middle
ages
(35 to 44). 52.5% of
women
did
exercises
meanwhile the figure was 39.5 for
men
.
As well as
, percentages of old ganders were nearly equal to each other which was 46.7% for
men
and 47.1% for
women
.
Overall
, males did more exercise than
women
at early
ages
.
However
, females showed an advantage in comparison over males for the
next
years,
whereas
the figures were nearly equal to each other in
genders'
Correct article usage
the genders'
show examples
old
ages
.
Submitted by venus_0204 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
Vocabulary: Replace the words exercises, ages, men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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