IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?

In the century of technology, machines and robots
gradually
Verb problem
have gradually
show examples
 replaced
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, so in the
Use synonyms
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 some businesses
do
Verb problem
will
show examples
 not need too many workers,
as a result
Linking Words
, the proportion of unemployment
would be
Verb problem
will
show examples
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
. There are a number of factors and solutions for employees to prepare for their
future
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, there are millions of people
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 lost their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 because of the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
hi-tech
Use the right word
high-tech
show examples
 machines and artificial intelligence.
For example
Linking Words
, some newspaper publishers need to reduce the workers because there is less work for them to do.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the online newspaper is becoming popular and convenient for the residents, so those employees need to find a new career to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 stable income.
Then
Linking Words
 the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 consumers, so in some factories, the employers need to cut the expenses and increase the profits. They decided to replace completely of workers
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 automated machinery to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a significant number of solutions that people can prepare for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, the high school students need to think about
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
show examples
 career or major that they want to
do
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 in the
future
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
graduated
Replace the word
graduate
show examples
 students do not have an occupation, so orientation when they are studying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school is necessary.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many works have been replaced by technology devices, so there are many occupations
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
show examples
 be suitable for the
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as selling products online
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
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 to the widespread development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social networking sites.
To sum up
Linking Words
, employment
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the innovation
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people need to adapt to that issue.

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structure
Use a clear plan in the text. Start with a short intro, then two or three body parts, and finish with a short end.
coherence
Make each idea in a new paragraph and use clear links to the main point.
examples
Give more exact examples with numbers or clear acts that show the point.
grammar
Fix common mistakes in grammar and join sentences well, to avoid run on lines.
closing
End with a short rest for the reader and tie back to the first idea.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of the issue.
content
It shows some good ideas on how to train people for the future.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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