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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the percentage use of four different fuel types to generate electricity in five Asian countries in 2005.

The table below shows the percentage use of four different fuel types to generate electricity in five Asian countries in 2005.
The table illustrates the statical data about the proposition of fuel consumption for producing
electricity
Use synonyms
 in five kinds of Asian countries in the year 2005. It is clearly seen that there was a significant variation in which field
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
 to generate the
electricity
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. Taking
first
Use synonyms
 nuclear resources,
Japan
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 had the highest
percentage
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 at 49
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percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
, South
Korea
Use synonyms
 was in
second
Linking Words
position
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 at 33
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. But
Thailand
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 used no nuclear
sources
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 for
power
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 generation.
Malaysia
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 and
Singapore
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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utilised the maximum number of coal and lignite for generating
electricity
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, which
were
Change the verb form
was
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 about 61 % and 42
percentage
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 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 three countries
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used only
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 average
4.5
Change preposition
of 4.5
show examples
 %
sources
Use synonyms
.
Thailand
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 had a
first
Use synonyms
position
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 for the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 to generate
electricity
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,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
utilised merely 3
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
petroleum
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products
Use synonyms
. Producing
electricity
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
by
show examples
 hydro and wind was just under half
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 in South
Korea
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, nearly
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 had with
Thailand
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. There were
Thailand
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,
Singapore
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 and
Japan
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,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and South
Korea
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
generated
power
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the other
sources
Use synonyms
, which were about in group wisely 42%, 39
percentage
Use synonyms
 and 12th
percentage
Use synonyms
 respectively. Taking
first
Use synonyms
 nuclear resources,
Japan
Use synonyms
 had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 at 49
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
, South
Korea
Use synonyms
 was in
second
Linking Words
position
Use synonyms
 at 33
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. But
Thailand
Use synonyms
 used no nuclear
sources
Use synonyms
 for
power
Use synonyms
 generation.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Singapore
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
utilised the maximum number of coal and lignite for generating
electricity
Use synonyms
, which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 about 61 % and 42
percentage
Use synonyms
 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 three countries
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used only
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 average
4.5
Change preposition
of 4.5
show examples
 %
sources
Use synonyms
.
Thailand
Use synonyms
 had a
first
Use synonyms
position
Use synonyms
 for the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
utilised merely 3
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
. Producing
electricity
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
by
show examples
 hydro and wind was just under half
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 in South
Korea
Use synonyms
, nearly
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 had with
Thailand
Use synonyms
. There were
Thailand
Use synonyms
,
Singapore
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and South
Korea
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
generated
power
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the other
sources
Use synonyms
, which were about in group wisely 42%, 39
percentage
Use synonyms
 and 12th
percentage
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, first, japan, percentage, korea, position, thailand, sources, power, malaysia, singapore, others, petroleum, products with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 16 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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