The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph shows the percentages of

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

who were successful in their high school competency exams in the period from 2010 to 2011, by subject.

Overall

Linking Words

, students of both sexes performed best in Computer Science, Mathematics, and Foreign Languages, including French, German and Spanish. Results for

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

were roughly equivalent the same in Computer Science and Mathematics. In other subjects,

however

Linking Words

, there were some significant differences.

Girls

Use synonyms

achieved by far their best results in Computer Science, with a pass rate of 56.3%, which was considerably around 14% higher than the

boys

Use synonyms

. The difference was even more marked in Chemistry, where over 16% more

girls

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passed. The single subject where

boys

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’ results were better than

girls

Use synonyms

was Geography where they achieved a pass rate of 30.4%, which was 10% higher than

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the percentage

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

result for

girls

Use synonyms

. In general, we can say that during the period in

question

Add a comma

,question

show examples

girls

Use synonyms

performed better in most subjects in the competency exams than

boys

Use synonyms

Submitted by jaydipdodiya1997 on Thu Mar 26 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Competency exams
High school
Pass rate
Disparity
Performance gap
Subject-specific analysis
Year-to-year progression
Regression
Overall trends
Significant
Notably wide/narrow
Conclusion
Observations
Consistencies

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The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilitates than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. Agree or disagree?

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?