IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that coins and paper money will vanish in a few years. We will only use plastic cards or some other form of electronic currency. Is this a positive or negative development.

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Money
Use synonyms
 in its various forms has and will continue to be an integral portion of our lives in the future. The major transformation
money
Use synonyms
 has gone through since the past decade originating from the barter system and ultimately ending with plastic
money
Use synonyms
 used currently is ripe with positives and negatives. While traditional supporters might prefer the primitive forms of paper
money
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 the more convincing argument lies with the modern audience opting for cards over
cash
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. Any discussion about electronic currency would be incomplete without touching on the topic of security provided by digital modes of
cash
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. Individuals carrying
cash
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 while travelling
in
Suggestion
on
 public transport tend to be prone to theft by
pick-pockets
a thief who steals from the pockets or purses of others in public places
pickpockets
 in
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of situations.
On the other
Linking Words
hand in
Accept comma addition
hand, in
 case of a
card
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, the thief would be in a dilemma since he is not aware of the added security features inbuilt in the plastic
money
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,
such
Linking Words
 as one time password and automatic
card
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 blocking to name a few.
Further
Linking Words
 the latest advancements in technology have resulted in chips installed in the
card
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 providing the details of the real time location of the
card
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 to the bank. We can
further
Linking Words
cement plastic
Accept comma addition
cement, plastic
money
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 as more suitable for recent times due to the improvement in the lifestyle. Most people would prefer carrying a miniscule
card
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 as compared
to wards
near
towards
 of
cash
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 when commuting in crowded places. Not only does it provide
convenience but
Accept comma addition
convenience, but
 handling of electronic currency
also
Linking Words
 aids in maintaining a trail of our transactions which is not possible in
cash
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 dealings. A glimpse into the
card
Use synonyms
 statement assists out accountants in managing our finances in an exemplary

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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