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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Some institutions believe that its employees should look
nice while others
Suggestion
nice, while others
 emphasize the work performance above
appearance
Use synonyms
. I believe that both views are valid depend on the type of the organizations and the role of its employees. Some organization are
focus
Suggestion
focused
focussed
focusing
 on providing
service
Suggestion
services
 and its employees have more opportunities to meet with customers and clients while the other tends to deal with
machine
Suggestion
the machine
machines
 and have less opportunity to work with people. In the
first
Linking Words
 case, it is fine for the organization to encourage its employees to
dress
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 properly. Take a look at consultation firms, all employees must properly
dress
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 because they have to ensure their clients use their service. Their
appearance
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 is the
first
Linking Words
 thing to judge because human tends to make
quick judgment
Suggestion
quick judgments
a quick judgment
 from
appearance
Use synonyms
. On the other hands, people in the construction company mostly deal with system and machine so the company more value the skills of its employee than their
appearance
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. In my opinion, the expectation of
appearance
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 will be mainly determined by the role of employees, regardless the type of organizations. Organizations usually have many departments that
has
Suggestion
have
 different functions. Some departments focus more on building
relationship but
Accept comma addition
relationship, but
 the others focus on technical problem. It might be the case that
company
Suggestion
the company
expect
Suggestion
expects
 its sales team to
dress
Use synonyms
 well but the same expectation will not be applied for technicians.
Technician
Suggestion
The technician
do not need
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does not need
 to wear
office outfit
Suggestion
an office outfit
 because their overall performance will be determined by their ability to solve technical issues and their work are mostly with machines and oil so there is no urge to look good. In conclusion, there are certain organizations that expect its employees to wear
nice outfit
Suggestion
a nice outfit
 while the others don't. I believe that it is
true but
Accept comma addition
true, but
 the role of employees within the organization is the main determining factor to decide how its employee should
dress
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ludhini.volva on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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