IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. Leisure time in a typical week in hour - by sex and employment status, 1998-99.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. Leisure time in a typical week in hour - by sex and employment status, 1998-99.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #report #university #lecturer #information #week #hour #sex
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph presents information on how many
leisure
hours
people
 enjoyed per week by gender and employment status in
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1998 and 1999.
Overall
,
people
 who were unemployed and retired had more free
time
 than those
Correct pronoun usage
who belonged
show examples
belonged
Change the form of the verb
belonging
show examples
 to other categories. Based on the information provided in the bar chart,
people
 who were
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the working groups had less than 50
hours
 of
leisure
time
 weekly,
while
 the unemployed and retired groups had approximately 80
hours
 of free
time
 per week.
People
 with a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 job had the least amount of
leisure
time
. Among women’s working groups, housewives had the highest number of free
time
, and both
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 and
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 women had around 40
hours
leisure
Change preposition
of leisure
show examples
time
 weekly. Comparing the number of
leisure
time
 by gender,
Add an article
the male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 generally had more
leisure
time
 than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
Although
 the graph did not provide the data related to
Add an article
a male
the male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 who had a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 job or home-staying, the
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 employed, unemployed and retired
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 had roughly 5
hours
 more
leisure
time
 weekly than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure, hours, people, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: