IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #government #expenditure #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided illustrations compare the proportion of authorities spending in nine aspects of life in the
years
Use synonyms
 2010 and 2015. Looking
initally
Correct your spelling
initially
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the pie charts, it can be seen that the local administration had to cut down
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 in most areas to sponsor
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cost of welfare and borrowing. Meanwhile, there was still
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stability in the percentage of
retirement
Add an article
the retirement
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 and others over the period of 5
years
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the period, the government
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 money in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 largest fields, including education, healthcare, pensions and defence.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, most of these sectors were
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 decline at least by 1% after 5
years
Use synonyms
. Particularly, education and defence funds made up 24% and 17% in 2010, and these figures fell by 3% in 2015.
Besides
Linking Words
, the pensions had no change in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proportion from 2010 to 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 borrowing, transport, culture and leisure and others are the smallest payment in the
years
Use synonyms
 2010. In these
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, transport and culture expense
considerable
Change the word
considerably
show examples
 decrease by two
third
Linking Words
 for each
ones
Change to a singular noun
one
show examples
 after
5-year
Add an article
a 5-year
the 5-year
show examples
 period.
Conversely
Linking Words
, welfare and interest on borrowing had a
rapidly
Change the adverb
rapid
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 growth
nearly
Change preposition
of nearly
show examples
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of percentage during 5
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lemaithanh10 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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