IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton
#line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton
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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who attended several sightseeing places in Brighton.It can be seen that the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who are interested in festivals was higher compared with other.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of tourists who visited
pier
Correct article usage
the pier
show examples
 was the lowest at the beginning of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 period. In 1980,the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who are making a visit to art galleries was around 20%
in
Change preposition
at
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 the initiation of the period, but
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
,end
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 the attitude of
people
Use synonyms
 to art
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed and dropped
less
Change preposition
by less
show examples
 than 10%.The figure for festivals decreased gradually till 2000
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
then
Linking Words
 remained steady
stable
Correct word choice
and stable
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 during a decade. From 1980 to 1995,the percentage of tourists who built pavilions in Brighton reached a peak and made up almost 50%.
However
Linking Words
, that of
people
Use synonyms
 decreased approximately by 20%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there was a significant rise in the figure for
people
Use synonyms
 who took part in the piers between 1980 and 2010.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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