The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
Nowadays, obesity has become a major problem
around
not only others but Change preposition
for
also
children
. In western
Capitalize word
Western
society
the percentage of overweight Add a comma
society,
children
increasingly developed
by 20% in the Verb problem
increased
last
decade. The main reason why I believe is incorrect nutrition and hereditary factor
. Fix the agreement mistake
factors
This
essay will examine my personal views according to
causes and effects and present a final conclusion. One problem is that overeating sweet or harmful foods
. Fix the agreement mistake
food
For example
, in our modern life majority of children
really keen on from
fast foods and candies like hamburgers, hot dogs, pizzas, chocolates and cakes which are include lots of chemicals which harmful to their Change preposition
apply
body
and Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
organism
. Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
This
kind of products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
delicious
and yummy, Add a missing verb
is delicious
that is
why, useful products like fruits and vegetables are not as popular as junk foods. Another drawback is that hereditary factor which depends on genetics. If the children
's parents and grandparents with excess weight, then
most likely the children
will also
be fat . Unfortunately, incorrect nutrition and obesity leads to
not Verb problem
do
the
best effects Add a missing verb
have the
with
health and appearance. Change preposition
on
Firstly
, children
's overweight effect
Correct your spelling
affects
of
their physical and mental health. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, they are suffering from digestion system, doing hard exercises, foot
and spine diseases. Overthrow , most of the body is covered in fats, Correct word choice
and foot
all
organs Correct word choice
and all
facing with
various diseases. Wrong verb form
face
Secondly
, obesity also
effect
Change the verb form
effects
to
Change preposition
apply
peoples'
appearance . Change noun form
people's
Children
with such
physiques, Add a missing verb
have problem
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
to find
the right clothes with Change the verb form
finding
right
size or excess fat even on the face, Add an article
the right
accordingly
they can feel themselves timidly and shyly. To sum up
all views
above, can come to the conclusion that, incorrect nutrition leads to Correct article usage
the views
overweight
and it in turn leads to worse effects like problems with health and bodyAdd a missing verb
being overweight
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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