televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today, are these shows a good method of finding talented people or are they just entertainment?

#talent #societies #method #people #entertainment

nowadays

Suggestion

Nowadays

, we all know that televised talent hot talk of tv in most countries.

perhaps

Suggestion

Perhaps

some people think

that is

only for

fun but

Accept comma addition

fun, but

I believe it is a chance and the opportunity for Competitors to enter

arena

Suggestion

the arena

an arena

the country or the world and good way for finding talented people, which will be discussed here in

this

essay. --In the past, talented people had to be financially supported by a sponsor to become famous that it was

the big

Suggestion

the biggest

problem. It is true that even nowadays in some

countries people

Accept comma addition

countries, people

have to pay to participate in the competition, despite

this

some still cannot participate. --

when

Suggestion

When

talented people Competition

Suggestion

the talented people Competition

as a competitor that its causes increase performance.

Suggestion

addition, when Competitors

step

with vote of people go to the

step

to the

finally

Suggestion

final

step

, it causes

also

increase

them

of them or themselves

their

motivation. ---

perhaps

Suggestion

Perhaps

, some people think that

this

shows

Suggestion

show

are

Suggestion

only for

entertainment but

Accept comma addition

entertainment, but

I can understand very well how much these shows are effective, even, if they don't succeed in competitions. --By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that televised talent shows is the best way for recognition talented people and I hope that governments have actions to address

financially

Suggestion

financial

problems some people who can't participate, until they can be famous and on the other hands they attract a lot of people to watch them.

Mon Apr 06 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

229 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that preserving the natural environment is crucial, however, most make no effort to do so. Why do you think this is happening? What are some simple actions that could help the environment?
There has many people in each country that help to the natural environment to keep it and effort for remain that. While, numerous people do not have enough knowledge how much natural environment is essential to conserve it. The causes of this appear to be the focused on two areas, and a number of solutions also appear to be possible.
4.5
band
It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct, there is no reason why people should try to prevent this form happening.
Extinction of animals has been occured in some geological eras which had been an inevitable part of evolution. There are a number of individuals argue that preventing this natural process is not imperative. I am definitely against this attitude.
5.5
band
In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
Nowadays, more and more people from all social categories start to enjoy shopping and to consider it a relaxing activity . I strongly agree that regarding it as a hobby is a positive trend. I am going to explain the reasons in the following paragraphs.
<4
band
In the developed world ,average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.
In the modern world ,the typical lifespan is increasing significantly.Many people think that the trend is a positive development.This following essay will discuss the effect of this positive trend,and some of the ways that could be considered in addressing the problem.
7
band
More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?
Every country has its own culture and food habits which differ from person to person. It is mostly seen that richer countries like America face serious issues in overeating or eating a lot of junk food which is acting like a curse of the country.

televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today, are these shows a good method of finding talented people or are they just entertainment?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that preserving the natural environment is crucial, however, most make no effort to do so. Why do you think this is happening? What are some simple actions that could help the environment?

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct, there is no reason why people should try to prevent this form happening.

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

In the developed world ,average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?