Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #women #role #men #country’s #police #force #army #kinds #jobs

Nowadays, we are living in a society where women and men holds the same rights and women have

showed

Suggestion

shown

there

of them or themselves

their

metal in every

field

Therefore many

Accept comma addition

Therefore, many

people think that women should

also

join

police

Suggestion

the police force

force

and army of

country whereas

Accept comma addition

country, whereas

, others believe that these jobs are not suitable for women.

However

, I stand with the former view point. These days, we are heading to the egalitarian society where men and women hold

same rights

Suggestion

the same rights

and opportunities. So I believe that women should come forward and play an equal role as men in

police

Suggestion

the police force

force

and army of a country.

Moreover

, women can play an important role in these

field

Suggestion

fields

such

as females are effective in communication.

Furthermore

, even men are joining

field

such

as chef, teacher and so

on which

Accept comma addition

on, which

were before meant to be

work

could be done by only women.

Therefore

, women should

also

allowed

Suggestion

allow

work

police

Suggestion

the police

or military. Others opine that physical strength is an important factor that should be considered in

these

Suggestion

this field

these fields

field

. As women are lack

Suggestion

physical strength,

therefore

they should not join

police

Suggestion

the police

or military

force

Furthermore

, even men have to go through

such

a hard training to

work

these

Suggestion

this field

these fields

field

so it will be difficult for women to go through with

same training

Suggestion

the same training

to join

these

Suggestion

this field

these fields

field

Also these

Accept comma addition

Also, these

jobs

needs

Suggestion

need

a lot of hard

work

which is very difficult for women as they

also

handle house, kids and many responsibilities. So they should not join

these

Suggestion

this field

these fields

field

. Summing up, women should

also

join

police

Suggestion

the police force

force

or military

force

in today’s egalitarian society.

Fri Apr 10 2020

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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