Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, we are living in a society where women and men holds the same rights and women have
showed
Suggestion
shown
there
of them or themselves
their
metal in every
field
.
Therefore many
Accept comma addition
Therefore, many
people think that women should
also
join
police
Suggestion
the police force
force
and army of
country whereas
Accept comma addition
country, whereas
, others believe that these jobs are not suitable for women.
However
, I stand with the former view point. These days, we are heading to the egalitarian society where men and women hold
same rights
Suggestion
the same rights
and opportunities. So I believe that women should come forward and play an equal role as men in
police
Suggestion
the police force
force
and army of a country.
Moreover
, women can play an important role in these
field
Suggestion
fields
such
as females are effective in communication.
Furthermore
, even men are joining
field
such
as chef, teacher and so
on which
Accept comma addition
on, which
were before meant to be
work
could be done by only women.
Therefore
, women should
also
allowed
Suggestion
allow
to
work
in
police
Suggestion
the police
or military. Others opine that physical strength is an important factor that should be considered in
these
Suggestion
this field
these fields
field
. As women are lack
in
Suggestion
of
physical strength,
therefore
they should not join
police
Suggestion
the police
or military
force
.
Furthermore
, even men have to go through
such
a hard training to
work
in
these
Suggestion
this field
these fields
field
so it will be difficult for women to go through with
same training
Suggestion
the same training
to join
these
Suggestion
this field
these fields
field
.
Also these
Accept comma addition
Also, these
jobs
needs
Suggestion
need
a lot of hard
work
which is very difficult for women as they
also
handle house, kids and many responsibilities. So they should not join
these
Suggestion
this field
these fields
field
. Summing up, women should
also
join
police
Suggestion
the police force
force
or military
force
in today’s egalitarian society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: