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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #report #university #lecturer #information
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As shown in the chart, the vast majority of the
students
Use synonyms
 both men and women were seeking part-time education.
Overall
Linking Words
, part-time male seekers had reduced in
1980s
Change the article
the 1980s
show examples
 than the previous ten
years
Use synonyms
 by around 200
students
Use synonyms
, and increased slightly after
1980s
Correct article usage
the 1980s
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 part-time female
students
Use synonyms
 had
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 by 100
students
Use synonyms
 in
1980s
Correct article usage
the 1980s
show examples
 than 1970s, and by 300
students
Use synonyms
 in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
 than 1980s.
Although
Linking Words
 full-time men were around ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 out of the part-time in
1970s
Change the article
the 1970s
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 had increased to almost
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quarter of the part-time in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, full-time females had gone up four times in
1980s
Change the article
the 1980s
show examples
 and 1990s than
1970s
Correct article usage
the 1970s
show examples
, with a small difference between
1980s
Correct article usage
the 1980s
show examples
 and 1990s, when the
last
Linking Words
 ten
years
Use synonyms
 had had
larger
Add an article
a larger
show examples
 number of
students
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. Generally, the female
students
Use synonyms
 were less than the males in the beginning
years
Use synonyms
, which had changed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Use synonyms
, with more females than males in both part and full-time sections.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • engaged in
  • distinct
  • categorizes
  • enrollment status
  • surpass
  • compared to
  • stability
  • increased significantly
  • equal number
  • gap
  • outnumber
  • decreased
  • part-time courses
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