Q. Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only lead to graduate unemployment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the advanced education, the
number
Use synonyms
of
undergraduate
Suggestion
undergraduates
has been increasing. Some insist that a
number
Use synonyms
of
university
Use synonyms
students only result in rising an unemployment rate of graduates and it is not beneficial for
society
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
I understand
this
Linking Words
opinion, I would argue that the large proportion of undergraduates has positive effects on
society
Use synonyms
. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages to the increasing
number
Use synonyms
of
university
Use synonyms
student
Suggestion
students
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, many young people may put pressure on themselves to have a bachelor's degree even though it is not necessary.
For example
Linking Words
, in Korea, almost people in modern
society
Use synonyms
tend to go to the
university
Use synonyms
after being graduated from high school. Because of
this
Linking Words
tendency, some people could apply for admission to
university
Use synonyms
without enough thinking what they want to be.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if those could graduate from
university
Use synonyms
, they are likely to be unsatisfied with their major. In
this
Linking Words
sense, a lack of confidence with their major could lead to frequent failures in finding decent jobs.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
tendency to demand higher education could not only increase graduate unemployment rate, but
also
Linking Words
cause individuals to lose time and money.
However
Linking Words
, I still believe that well-educated people influence
society
Use synonyms
positively. Programmes aimed at preparing global competition for employment help
university
Use synonyms
students to find high quality jobs.
This
Linking Words
is because
university
Use synonyms
students can improve their ability through these programmes, competing with their peers and obtaining expertise in their field. It is a proved fact that intelligent people can bring about more benefits for economic growth than physical workers.
In addition
Linking Words
, strengthening individuals' ability in terms of their major can successfully contribute to social outcomes
such
Linking Words
as health care or technology industries.
As a result
Linking Words
, developing the level of education will lead to a national growth more and more in many ways. In conclusion, according to the aforementioned reasons, the increasing
number
Use synonyms
of graduates might have a negative effect on both individuals and
society
Use synonyms
, but I believe that
this
Linking Words
should be seen as a positive development in many ways.
Submitted by kyunghea325 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: