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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eatem too much. Sumarise the information by searching and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eatem too much. Sumarise the information by searching and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The three pie charts below compare the average percentages of nutrients American gain
in
Change preposition
by
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 4 typical means. It is noticeable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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dinner
Use synonyms
 contains the most nutrients in the USA. And
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
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 like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast to be the most healthy meal
in
Change preposition
of
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 day. The
dinner
Use synonyms
 and snacks are unhealthy, compared with the other two types of meals. American take a
third
Linking Words
 of sodium, saturated fats and added sugar in
the
Change the word
their
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dinner
Use synonyms
 (103% in total).
Besides
Linking Words
, snacks contain the
second
Linking Words
 highest amount of nutrients, which is 77%. For added sugar snacks include twice as much as
dinner
Use synonyms
.
The breakfast
Correct article usage
Breakfast
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, which is the most healthy, only accounts for 15% on average in all 3 diagrams. People
also
Linking Words
 get much sodium and fat by eating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch, 29% and 20% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, added sugar is less in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch, only
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
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 of that in one day.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dinner with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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