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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Due to so many young people dropping out from schools, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #schools #rate #unemployment #society #situation
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In today’s society, the percentage of unemployed people
rises
Suggestion
rise
 on an unprecedented scale, wreaking havoc on the community.
This
 phenomenon could be attributed to the fact that the number of
school
 dropouts witnessed a significant increase.
This
 essay will shed some light on the reasons why
such
 a trend is caused and propose several measures to untangle it. One of the driving forces behind
this
 worrying trend would stem from the improper upbringing of parents. Having said that, a multitude of parents
seem
Suggestion
seems
 to immerse themselves into an overwhelming workload, which leads to the ignorance of their child’s social and
school
 life.
Consequently
, children disregard the vitality of
education
 and befriend other spoiled teenagers. Another culprit associated with
such
 an issue would be associated with abject poverty. Owing to globalization, the gap between the rich and the poor becomes more and more unbridgeable.
This
 inevitably means that the number of
school
 dropouts
show
Suggestion
shows
 no signs of abating because they have to seek jobs to make ends meet. In order to mitigate
such
 disturbing problems, there are a number of solutions that can be offered.
First
 and foremost, parents’
education
 would be of paramount importance in combating the issue.
That is
 to say, parents should offer their children better supervision and educational orientation so that they could grasp how pivotal
education
 is in their later life and career. A
further
 step should be conducted by the government who plays an influential role in bolstering the
education
 of the country. To be more specific, an annual amount of government should be allocated to grant incentive scholarships to support
such
 students stopping halfway at
school
. In conclusion, factors stemming from parental negligence and poverty have led to the acceleration of unemployment rate in the society. Yet, if governments and individuals share a collective responsibility,
this
 alarming trend would no longer be the case.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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