Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Numerous people presume that harshness

that is

accentuated on electronic amusements exclusively films or video games, carry on a riotous

demeanor

(behavioral attributes) the way a person behaves toward other people

demeanour

to the audiences.

Otherwise

, others believe that these actions are not

jeopardizing

Suggestion

jeopardized

in society.

Thus

this

essay will depict the proponent regarding the notion, along with particular reasons.

First

of all, the inadequacy of escort from parents induces children to witness

entertainment

Suggestion

the entertainment

arbitrarily.

In other words

, parents are belittling the repercussions established by watching several infeasible programs.

Therefore

, they do not obey the licit ordinances, which divide

such

movies into several cohorts based on the corresponding ages of audiences.

For instance

, as parents are considerably busy with their

behalves

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviours

, they do not keep an eye and let their offspring to

sight

make reference to

cite

many violent films, which will unintentionally synthesize the

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

of a child.

Nonetheless

, recitals that are undertaken on television must have already been examined by the authorized institution.

Hence

, it is nearly improbable for children to watch the extremely abominable actions in the movies unless they deliberately seek for them.

Therefore

although

a few films bestow a harsh proceeding, it must be quite minor compared to the original one, and merely utilized to provide allure for the spectators.

Thus

, it does not compose a capacious impact on the audiences. To recapitulate, every movie must have already been categorized into the proper genres.

Therefore

, it will not cause a misapprehension to the lookers.

Nevertheless

, some

watchers particularly

Accept comma addition

watchers, particularly

adolescent are often

coincidently

happening at the same time

coincidentally

coincidental

viewing the inappropriate actions.

Additionally

, it must be really prodigious for parents to eternally keep track of the amusements witnessed by their ancestry.

Tue Apr 14 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

‘Preventing lifestyle illnesses is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your arguments with examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.