Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Numerous people presume that harshness
that is
Linking Words
accentuated on electronic amusements exclusively films or video games, carry on a riotous
demeanor
(behavioral attributes) the way a person behaves toward other people
demeanour
to the audiences.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, others believe that these actions are not
jeopardizing
Suggestion
jeopardized
in society.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay will depict the proponent regarding the notion, along with particular reasons.
First
Linking Words
of all, the inadequacy of escort from parents induces children to witness
entertainment
Suggestion
the entertainment
arbitrarily.
In other words
Linking Words
, parents are belittling the repercussions established by watching several infeasible programs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they do not obey the licit ordinances, which divide
such
Linking Words
movies into several cohorts based on the corresponding ages of audiences.
For instance
Linking Words
, as parents are considerably busy with their
behalves
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
, they do not keep an eye and let their offspring to
sight
make reference to
cite
many violent films, which will unintentionally synthesize the
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
of a child.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, recitals that are undertaken on television must have already been examined by the authorized institution.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is nearly improbable for children to watch the extremely abominable actions in the movies unless they deliberately seek for them.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
a few films bestow a harsh proceeding, it must be quite minor compared to the original one, and merely utilized to provide allure for the spectators.
Thus
Linking Words
, it does not compose a capacious impact on the audiences. To recapitulate, every movie must have already been categorized into the proper genres.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will not cause a misapprehension to the lookers.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some
watchers particularly
Accept comma addition
watchers, particularly
adolescent are often
coincidently
happening at the same time
coincidentally
coincidental
viewing the inappropriate actions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it must be really prodigious for parents to eternally keep track of the amusements witnessed by their ancestry.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: