Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good,while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The wave of modernization has reached every nook and corner of all over the world.The dream of global village
become
Suggestion
becomes
true.Now days, There are many innovative video and gadgets invented by human in present scenario.So
,
Accept space
,
Man
enjoy
Suggestion
enjoys
the fruit of every invention and discoveries.There are some people ponder that children spend much
time
on TV
,
Accept space
,
video games.I disagree with that
opine
Suggestion
opinion
because it depends upon
children
Suggestion
the children
that how much
time
should be
spend
Suggestion
spent
by
Suggestion
with
them on these
type
Suggestion
types
of gadgets.
first
preceding all others in time or space or degree
First
and foremost
,
Accept space
,
There have been multifarious advantageous.By using TV and computer children should get
lot
Suggestion
lots
of
imformation
a message received and understood
information
related to any
field
Accept comma addition
field, thus
thus
they should not wait for
newspaper
Suggestion
the newspaper
.
Accept space
.
They just swipe TV channels for news and programme.Futhermore
,
Accept space
,
video games
also
increase
intectual power
Suggestion
intellectual powers
intellectual power
the intellectual power
of children.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
,
Accept space
,
on the other hand
,
Accept space
,
some
time
children spend much
time
within these gadgets
thus
they have lack of physical exercise
.
Accept space
.
In
previous century
Suggestion
the previous century
a previous century
previous centuries
,
Accept space
,
lack of these innovation mostly people
spend
Suggestion
spends
much
time
with friends
,
Accept space
,
family and
also perform
Suggestion
also performs
is also performing
physical exercise. In recapitulate
,
Accept space
,
The
deterimental
(sometimes followed by 'to') causing harm or injury
detrimental
effects can be mitigated by parents if they should follow some stringent restriction and allocated limited
time
to children for these
activity
Suggestion
activities
.
Submitted by kandajot7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • educational opportunities
  • technical skills
  • digital future
  • cultural exposure
  • screen time
  • physical health
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • violent content
  • inappropriate content
  • parental supervision
  • setting boundaries
  • behavioral impact
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: