Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good,while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children’s #time #tv #video #pc #games

The wave of modernization has reached every nook and corner of all over the world.The dream of global village

become

Suggestion

becomes

true.Now days, There are many innovative video and gadgets invented by human in present scenario.So

Accept space

Man

enjoy

Suggestion

enjoys

the fruit of every invention and discoveries.There are some people ponder that children spend much

time

on TV

Accept space

video games.I disagree with that

opine

Suggestion

opinion

because it depends upon

children

Suggestion

the children

that how much

time

should be

spend

Suggestion

spent

Suggestion

with

them on these

type

Suggestion

types

of gadgets.

first

preceding all others in time or space or degree

First

and foremost

Accept space

There have been multifarious advantageous.By using TV and computer children should get

lot

Suggestion

lots

imformation

a message received and understood

information

related to any

field

Accept comma addition

field, thus

thus

they should not wait for

newspaper

Suggestion

the newspaper

Accept space

They just swipe TV channels for news and programme.Futhermore

Accept space

video games

also

increase

intectual power

Suggestion

intellectual powers

intellectual power

the intellectual power

of children.

Eventhough

Suggestion

Even though

Accept space

on the other hand

Accept space

some

time

children spend much

time

within these gadgets

thus

they have lack of physical exercise

Accept space

previous century

Suggestion

the previous century

a previous century

previous centuries

Accept space

lack of these innovation mostly people

spend

Suggestion

spends

much

time

with friends

Accept space

family and

also perform

Suggestion

also performs

is also performing

physical exercise. In recapitulate

Accept space

The

deterimental

(sometimes followed by 'to') causing harm or injury

detrimental

effects can be mitigated by parents if they should follow some stringent restriction and allocated limited

time

to children for these

activity

Suggestion

activities

Submitted by kandajot7 on Wed Apr 15 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employers who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree.
Skilled and educated workers can get work in developed nations, this is quite popular among the world. The first-tier countries provide more job opportunities to workers who skilled and knowledgeable especially from the three-tier territories. I strongly agree with this notion for the following reasons.
4
band
“In many societies in the world, the population is aging rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
since the start of the world, all of us have withness a enourmous growth in population, and because of that a lot of places in the world are suffering from the increased cost of their puplic healthcare. Because of that the general puplic are supporting their government by participating in paying for it. I agree with this to a high extent
5.5
band
Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that nowadays there are some youths who decide to take a gap year between their school and university studies to travel around or work somewhere. In my opinion, there is no hesitation that living those types of experiences has a positive impact and will benefit them while coming back to education life.
6
band
Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strictly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this contemporary era, it is often argued by some that children’s way of behaving ought to be closely controlled, whilst; others disagree and argue that they must be free to interact with anything they desire. In my opinion, I believe that striking a balance between this approach is necessary to maintain a positive attitude towards our society.
4
band
Attitude is as important as knowledge in a test situation . To what extent do you agree? Write at least 250 words
Attitude is something that is innate in every individual. Sometimes it can be caused by individual genetic make-up, which explains some behavior copied from their parents. However, it is also influenced by social environment meaning the more the person exposed to that kind of environment, the likely he/she will be adapt on it and be like it. For example if the child belongs to a family who only sees negative in life, possibility when the child grow up his/her outlook will be more on negativism like having poor self-esteem, dependability or inability to stand alone, and those things are difficult to change and lasts forever.

Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good,while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employers who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree.

“In many societies in the world, the population is aging rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strictly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Attitude is as important as knowledge in a test situation . To what extent do you agree? Write at least 250 words