You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family or six months and look after their six- year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter Explain why you would like the job give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

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Dear Madam, My name is Ayoola Ogunleye. I am writing with regards to the live-in nanny advert placed in the Australian Lifestyle magazine on 18th November
,
Remove the comma
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It appears that you have incorrectly used a comma with a date. Consider removing the comma.

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2018. Let me explain my reasons for picking
an
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The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun interest in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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interest in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

work, amongst many other ones I came across. I recently moved to Griffith and I was on the lookout for a job that offers free accommodation
,
Remove the comma
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It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker since. Consider removing the comma.

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since the rent in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

city is extremely high. As
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

job is a perfect fit for me. I believe I am the best candidate for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

job because I love children. About five years ago, I resigned from my business consulting career after I came to the realization that I am passionate about caring for children. In the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

3 years, I have
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

worked full time as a
Correct your spelling
caregiver

The word care giver seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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care giver
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caregiver

The word care giver seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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for children, with excellent recommendations. During my free time, I would like to travel to the Amazon forest in Australia.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I love spending my free afternoons meditating by the beach shore as well as shopping and watching movies, most especially science fiction movies. I do hope to hear from you soon.
Correct the word
Yours
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Correct the word
Yours

It appears that the word Your is not the correct form of the possessive pronoun. Consider changing it.

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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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faithfully, Ayoola Ogunleye
Submitted by ogunleyeayoolao on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertisement
  • live with
  • look after
  • six-year-old child
  • suitable
  • employ
  • free time
  • Australia
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