The chart below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008 Summarise the information by selecting main features and make comparison where relevant

The chart below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008 Summarise the information by selecting main features and make comparison where relevant
The diagrams
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
information about the
next
decisions of the UK’s
graduates
and
postgraduates
who finished
study
, except
choosing
Change preposition
for choosing
show examples
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
, in 2008.
Overall
, it can be seen, the number of
postgraduates
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
roughly 10 times less than
graduates
;
whereas
, the trends showed similar patterns.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
students
, who finished
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
, chose
further
study
, clearly 29665
students
. Meanwhile, it was about 8 times more than
students
who chose
participating
Change the verb form
to participate
show examples
in voluntary work, 3500. At that time, selectors of part-time work and unemployment were on average, 17735 and 16235, respectively. In terms of
postgraduates
, they were nearly 10 times less than college
graduates
. In 2008
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
postgraduates
chose either
further
study
or
part-time
Correct article usage
a part-time
show examples
job, who were 2725 and 2535, respectively. On contrary, 345
students
tried voluntary activities.
Whereas
, 1625
postgraduates
have no jobs. In summary, both tables
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
common patterns;
while
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
graduates
have enrolled
further
Change preposition
in further
show examples
study
, the least ones have decided to do voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Submitted by shaxyod on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, postgraduates, study, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: